


PJO Tumblr One-Shots

by RuffledCrow



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21893626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuffledCrow/pseuds/RuffledCrow
Summary: This is a compilation of one-shots from my Tumblr (@ruffledcrow) now posted here for our non-Tumblr friends to enjoy. Please check each chapter for individual warnings and tags.
Relationships: Jason Grace/Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo/Jason Grace, Nico di Angelo/Jason Grace/Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo/Jason Grace/Percy Jackson/Will Solace, Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 13
Kudos: 121





	1. in which nico is sick and won't admit it

**This Chapter Contains:** Jasico

Jason hears the crash before he actually sees Nico.

He runs into the kitchen, both to tell Nico off for being up, and to ensure that his boyfriend didn’t just kill himself by tripping on air (it’s a valid fear). The scene that greets him isn’t any better then what he was expecting—dozens of pots and pans surrounding a very disgruntled-looking Nico.

‘‘What the hell are you doing out of bed?’‘ He asks, rushing to help keep Nico (who had begun to sway on his feet) steady. ‘‘You’re literally running a fever of 103.’‘

Nico grunts. ‘‘Shut up. The dancing elephants said I was fine,’‘

Jason would like to think it’s sarcasm, but he’s legitimately worried Nico’s being serious.

Jason huffs, hoisting Nico into his arms. ‘‘I told you to call for me if you needed something. You’re sick, baby. You shouldn’t be up.’‘

‘‘It’s just a cold.’‘

‘‘And I’m a daughter of Artemis.’‘ Jason looks at the floor. ‘‘What were you reaching for, anyway?’‘

Nico buries his face in Jason’s shirt, voice stuffy when he answers.

‘‘Water cup.’‘

Jason hums, setting Nico down gently on the couch. He pauses.

‘‘… that was the pan cabinet.’‘

‘‘I’m _fine_ , Jason.’‘

‘‘Or delirious.’‘

Nico doesn’t dignify that with a response, letting Jason get him water. When he comes back with a thermometer, too, though, Nico whines.

‘‘Jason, I’m _fine_! Stop mother-henning!’‘ He stubbornly turns away from Jason’s hand on his forehead, and Jason scoffs.

‘‘Then stop contracting the Bubonic plague.’‘

‘‘Cold.’‘

‘‘Plague.’‘

Jason holds the thermometer in front of Nico’s mouth, and, begrudgingly, Nico lets him maneuver it under his tongue. The numbers climb, and Jason frowns.

‘‘102. Yikes,’‘ He says. Nico grumbles.

‘‘What was that, _sweetheart_?’‘

‘‘I said that you’re acting like a worried mother.’‘

Jason lets himself grin. ‘‘Why, but just last week, I could’ve sworn it was _daddy_ —’’

Nico’s quick to throw one of the couch’s pillows at him.


	2. he loves me not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico's had too much time to think on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter Contains: Percico, brief, vague suicidal thoughts

When Nico had first thought about kissing Percy, at what was maybe twelve, there was fireworks and cheering.

The colors all went brighter, and it was like the climax of a romantic movie. Everything was _perfect_ , and that would be the beginning.

He had felt guilty about it, yes; but all the same, he had revisited it time and time again, laying on the cold forest floor with nothing but his jacket, to the point that he could vividly see it, down to how Percy’s hand would feel in his own, Nico’s stomach a’ flutter with elation.

The same scene played out again and again, until it had morphed into something different and fueled by a bone-deep longing and, eventually, hormones that turn it into something Nico feels sick about, and he's revising it and turning it back to pure-white light as often as he can manage.

Then, Tarturus.

From then, half-asleep and hiding from things that wanted to literally eat him, it turns into Percy holding him, whispering comforts and reassurance, telling Nico that _he loved him, and that Percy would never let anything harm him._

It hurts.

It hurts, when he crawls out of Tarturus, skin and bones, and passes out underneath the sun, on hard dirt, dreaming about Percy saying, _he did it, he’s so strong_ , and telling Nico that _he’ll be okay._

_Percy loves him, after all._

From there, it gets harder and harder. Sea-green and a devil-may-care smile, tilted and perfect, hair perpetually messy and amazing, and Nico thinks that he wants to cry every time he sees it.

Because it’ll never be directed at him.

And, up in the crows nest, Percy’s room empty and a _promise_ of the suffering that the son of Poseidon will have to face, possibly without ever seeing the sun again ( _a painful end_ ), Nico thinks that he _could_.

_He could jump._

Not deal with the inevitable end, going out with the knowledge that Gaia won, and Percy's a corpse somewhere in Tarturus.

He doesn’t, because he doesn’t have the energy to get up any more.

And then, half-dead and being consumed by the darkness, he thinks of Percy, the fake, _dream_ Percy his brain seems hell-bent on preserving, (down to Nico’s dying breath), he thinks of dream-Percy smiling and saying that he’ll make it.

So Nico does.

They win, against Gaia, the Athena Parthenon a beacon of new friendship.

And new hope.

And Nico lets himself have that.

And he gets older,

and older,

and it’s not so bad anymore. And he and Percy are friends, and for once, Nico thinks, he’s _okay_.

**Nico’s okay.**

And, on Nico’s 21st birthday, he sits on the shore, with Percy, after the party.

(Percy and Annabeth broke up three years ago.)

And Percy looks over (and Nico’s calmed down, but still), and tells Nico how he still hasn’t given him a birthday present.

He doesn’t have to, Nico says. Percy grins then, and shakes his head.

And Percy leans over,

and _over_ ,

and they’re breathing in the same air,

and, _Percy, what are you—_

And Percy kisses Nico.

There’s no fireworks, no cheering. The kiss is clumsy, and it tastes like beer, desperation, and sea-salt. But something explodes inside Nico—something long hidden, kept close to Nico’s chest.

Nico stares at him, dumbfounded, and Percy smiles.

Nico pins him to the sand with another kiss, and when Nico lets up, there are tears drying on his cheeks, and Percy holds him close. 


	3. bury me in sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a strange thing, to want Nico di Angelo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter Contains: Percico

It’s a strange thing, to want Nico di Angelo.

Nico’s all raw power and compact strength. He’s sharp edges melted into gentle curves, powerful and dangerous and deadly and strong and _beautiful_. He’s everything Percy never knew he needed and so much more, and it’s strange.

A strange thing, to want to take one of the most powerful demigods on the planet, and hold him and love him and take care of him.

And, stranger still, to want to make out with him.

Strangest of all to actually be doing it.

And Percy’s a fucking _expert_ at strange. 

Nico pants into Percy’s mouth, fingers tangled in Percy’s shirt. Percy has him pinned against the wall of the Poseidon cabin, which probably isn’t a good idea (see: _Medusa_ ) and Percy can only hope that his dad is chill with it.

‘‘ _Fuck_ ,’‘ Nico mumbles against Percy’s lips, as Percy rucks up his shirt with his free hand. Percy agrees. ‘‘Should we even be— _mn_ , is this okay?’’ 

Percy begins to kiss down his jaw. ‘’Yeah.’’

He feels Nico’s jaw click.

‘’But, you’re not—I-I don’t— ’‘ Percy feels Nico’s muscles tense up, from where his hand is flat on his bare stomach. ‘‘ _ **—** Percy, _we should talk about this,’‘

Percy begins to nibble at _that_ spot, behind Nico’s ear, and Nico moans.

‘‘ _Gods_ , Percy, stop for a second, please,’‘

Percy does. ‘‘What’s wrong? Do you not want this?’‘ 

Nico’s already flushed face goes redder. ‘‘No, I do. It’s just—Percy, two hours ago, I didn’t even know you were into guys, much less…well, you know.’’

The, ‘me’ goes unsaid. Percy frowns.

‘‘But I am. Isn’t that what matters?’‘ He asks, and suddenly, he feels self-conscious. ‘‘I—we don’t have to. If you don’t feel like, you know. We can talk,’’

Nico worries his at his lip, and Percy rubs his thumb in circles on Nico’s hip. The son of Hades blinks. 

‘‘I just—’’ Nico swallows. ‘’Are you sure _you_ want this? Percy, you know how I … _feel_ , about you. I don’t just want to be a one-night stand. I don’t want to just be an, _experiment_ , or whatever. If we’re going to do this, I can’t just have this be a …’‘ Nico trails off. Percy hums. 

‘‘Nico, me neither. You aren’t my ‘ _experiment_ ’. I really _do_ like you, Nico. I’ve liked you for a long time.’‘ And they’re older now, and Percy can say things like this like an adult, but, _damn_ , is this nerve-wracking. Does Nico really think Percy would do this just to satisfy some kind of curiosity? 

Nico looks down. ‘‘…I’m sorry. I’ve never done this before.’‘

Percy pauses. 

_Oh_.

‘‘…we don’t have to do this right now, Nico. We should probably talk, you’re right.’‘ Nico looks up at him then, eyes wide, anxiety practically coming off of him in waves. 

‘‘Oh. No, Percy it’s fine, you don’t have to—’’ 

Percy shushes him. ‘‘Nico, it’s not because I don’t want to. I do. But we need to talk about this, okay? You’re right.’’ Percy smiles. ‘’I really, really _do_ like you. And that’s not going to change, just because we don’t do… _this_ , tonight.’‘

Nico’s face breaks out into a crooked, adorable little smile then.

Percy rests his forehead against Nico’s. ‘‘Okay?’‘

‘‘ _More than_ okay.’‘


	4. drown me in ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico wants to disappear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter Contains: Un-reciprocated Percico, Jasico.
> 
> WARNING: This chapter also contains unspecified eating disorders, brief suicidal thoughts, and mentions of self harm. It's also seriously depressing: if that triggers you, DO NOT READ.

How To Disappear In 10 Easy Steps

1: Stop Coming To Meals

They barely notice you even when you do. It’s not like you really eat anything, then, anyway. Besides, your table is cold and empty, and it puts you under a spotlight, you feel like. 

When Jason asks why, you tell him that you’re getting plenty to eat, regardless. The noise just gives you anxiety. 

It’s only half a lie. 

The way he looks at you, you think he doesn’t believe you.

  
  


2: Don’t Come To Things When Invited

When Jason asks you to come to the campfire, or train with him, or do anything, bullshit an excuse and walk away. Eventually, he’ll stop asking, you’re sure. Then, you can go away permanently, with no great pain on anyone.

Except you, of course. But that’s no new thing. Loneliness is familiar, if not crushing, and it’s the only thing you really deserve now, anyway. 

Besides, Jason is the only one who bothers anymore. That makes it easier.

  
  


3: Try Your Hardest To Hate Everybody

You don’t hate Percy. You can’t even hate him when he’s kissing Annabeth like he’s a suffocating man and she’s oxygen. You can’t even hate him when, in some backwards way, you still wish that you were her, and he was kissing  _ you  _ like that. 

You don’t hate Jason. Not even when your heart has started to race when he’s around, too. Not even when your stomach drops to your feet every time you turn him down, and he frowns. You can’t hate him, not even when he pleads with you to stay.

You don’t hate anybody except yourself. But you can damn sure try.

  
  


4: Pack Your Things and Try Not To Cry

It’s a short list of things, you have. Your skull ring keeps phasing through your finger and falling off, so you leave it in the drawer for some future sibling to find. You don’t really want it, anyway. When Jason questions you about him, have a set of answers ready. 

Q: Why are you packing up?

A: Quest. I’ll be back.

Q: Nico, you’re lying. What’s going on? Where are you going?

A: You don’t care.

And, when he pleads with you to stay, brush him off like you’re not about to have a breakdown, and like you don’t feel hallowed out. 

  
  


5: Run Far Far Away and Don’t Look Back

You go to the Underworld. Your father doesn’t question you, only frowns. You’re weak from the lack of food, so you can’t immediately go back, like your guilty instincts want you to. You cry into the cold pillow of what’s now to be your room, and curse every god to ever exist. You try not to think about Percy’s smile, or Jason’s voice, or Hazel’s hugs, or Reyna’s proud words. You try not to think about all of it, and, you make a list of reasons you can’t go back:

They hate you

You’re creepy, nobody wants you

They’re disappointed

Bianca could’ve done better

You’ll just keep messing up

Percy will keep looking at you like something unloveable

Hazel will be better off

Jason won’t be burdened by you anymore

And it goes on and on, until you’re crying bitter tears again and you’re seriously considering jumping into the Styx.

It’s only partially effective.

  
  


6: Distract Yourself

You do whatever menial little quests your father sends you on. In your spare time, you walk the corridors and notice that it doesn’t smell like lemon scented cleaner anymore, and you think that you’ll cry again. 

You’ve been thinking that a lot in the past two months.

You realize that it’s been two months and actually do cry, then, until a friendly ghost stops to ask if he’s okay.

He’s not.

  
  


7: They Don’t Love You or Need You

Nobody does. You’re useless. Nobody came for you. Everybody’s glad you’re gone. Nobody cares. You’re never going to be good enough.

You haven’t eaten in days. You haven’t gotten out of bed in just as many. 

Nobody questions it. 

  
  


8: Try To Jump Into The Lethe Because It’s Becoming Too Much

You just want to forget. 

You try your best, with your limited strength and shaking limbs, to get past the flimsy security. You succeed. You’re about to jump when somebody calls your name.

Jason pulls you away from the bank, kicking and screaming. You tell him to just  _ let you, please, I’m in pain Jason just let me go, pleasepleaseplease. _

He carries you out of the Underworld. Nobody tries to stop him.

  
  


9: Spend The Next Months With Your Crush Fretting Over You and Pray Zeus Strikes You Down

You’re exhausted, constantly. He makes you eat, so it’s getting better, and you hate it. You don’t want the strength just so you have to do it all over again.

You tell Jason as much, and he tells you, for the thousandth time, that you won’t, because you won’t be leaving again. You  _ don’t  _ tell him that you will, because even his good grace will run out, and he won’t want you around. 

In a guilty way, you like the way he cares for you. 

He doesn’t notice the way you keep blushing, and he smiles one day and tells you that he’s glad you’re getting better. 

And, before you know it, it’s been six months and one day, while you’re sleeping in his bed after a nightmare, you think you’re in love with him.

  
  


10: You Don’t Want To Run Away Anymore

He kisses you one day when you’re both sitting on his couch, watching a shitty action movie.

You kiss back.

Then you punch him in the stomach.

Q: What the fuck, Jason? Why the fuck would you do that?!

A: Oh my gods, Nico, I’m sorry, I thought that was okay, I didn’t know —

Q: No! You can’t fucking, play with me like that! That’s not okay!

A: —I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I thought you felt the—wait. What do you mean, ‘play with you’?

You tell him he’s an ass for playing with your emotions, and he levels you with a very, very confused look. 

He tells you that he’s serious; he’s in love with you.

You cry again, but this time, they’re good tears.


	5. this is gospel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains; Solangelo.

Will was on his way to the infirmary when he saw it. 

Really, he had only wanted to stop by cabin 13 to say hi to Nico _._ He was about to knock on the door when he heard a sudden, loud noise. That kept going. And …

was that _singing?  
_

No. It couldn’t be.

Cautiously, silently, Will crept around the side of the cabin to peek through one of the windows. As he did, the beat picked up, and if Will wasn’t already in doubt about hearing music, he might’ve even said he heard someone screaming along to the music. But _no_. It wasn’t possible.

That’s when he saw it.

Nico di Angelo, Will’s boyfriend, self-proclaimed ‘Ghost King’ was screaming his lungs out and dancing his feet off to, ‘’This is Gospel’‘.

Will was torn between laughing and crying. 

Nico screamed along to the chorus, headbanging and generally dancing like a maniac to the music. Will’s heart grew three sizes. Nico was so goddamn _adorable_.

Nico danced around his cabin recklessly, smiling the widest will had ever seen him, singing alongside Brendon Urie like he wasn’t born in the 30′s. Will was frozen in place, because, _holy gods of Olympus_. Nico was.

Nico was perfect.

In that moment, Will had a realization;

 _Fuck_. He was in love with Nico di Angelo.


	6. for it's all we can fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It hadn't been a problem, until then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains: Solangelo, claustrophobia, panic attacks

Nico doesn’t realize it until the war is over. 

Camp Half-blood is in the process of rebuilding, still; Nico, being the smallest one present (out of he, Percy, and Jason, at the time) had been sent to get a couple of ‘‘incredibly important ancient texts’‘ (or, Mr. D’s book collection) from under some rubble. It was easy enough, so Nico agreed. 

He shouldn’t have. 

The rubble had seemed to close in around him, making the air too thick to breathe and crushing Nico, slowly. Panic had overtaken him, and;

well, Will’s formal diagnosis is claustrophobia, worsened by his PTSD acting up from his time in the Jar. 

Jason and Percy were sworn to secrecy, and it’s been two months since. 

Nico looks disdainfully at the stain on the table, trying (and failing) for the eighth time to scrub it away. Everyone has chores at camp, and, being the only full-time member of the Hades cabin, it’s his own job to clean his table. Which sucks, because he barely even eats at it anyway, and he can’t even remember spilling something on the table as damn stubborn to get out as this spot is.

Nico sighs, hoping that there’s still some Extra Strength Dragon Spit in the supply closet. 

He doesn’t like going in there as it is, but the heat of the Big House in summer worsens it, along with the fact that the closet locks from the outside. 

He Definitely Does Not Shake when he goes in.

The closet is dark, but Nico’s been in darker. Casting a glace around and propping the door open with his foot, Nico finally spots the cleaner.

On the top shelf.

Nico curses his shortness, and tries to, futilely, reach for the bottle from where he’s at. Sweat makes his hair stick to the back of his neck, and Nico huffs in frustration. 

Propping the door open with a stray bottle of bleach, Nico tries again to reach from the bottom of the shelf, and his fingers just _barely_ graze the bottle. 

More than frustrated, now, Nico pulls up a wobbly stool and tries again. Almost, almost, _almost_ -

The stool breaks. 

At that moment, the bottle falls on Nico’s head, and the near-empty bleach bottle rolls away. Stars pop behind Nico’s eyes, and he prays that he imagines the slam behind him as he sprawls on the floor. 

Nico groans as he sits up, and, no, his eyes aren’t playing tricks on him, the light from the open door is no longer there. Meaning that … 

gods, no. The door is closed. 

Panic is immediate. The closet is hot as it is, but it feels worse and Nico breathes it in. Breath’s come quick and short, walls already closing in. Nico pushes himself against the back shelves and tries to calm down.

He can’t. 

Soft noises, next. Quick, panicky whimpers that Nico doesn’t have the mind to be ashamed of. Sweat drips down his back, and the walls are closing in he can’t breathe and oh gods _he’s dying_ _he’s dying too much he can’t breathe-  
_

 _‘_ ‘Nico!’‘

Nico barely registers his name, and he prays it’s not _them_. Gods, _he’s dying, he’s dehydrated, he’s starving, he can’t breathe_ and this is how he’s going to die. He’s going to die in this Jar and nobody’s coming to save him-

Light floods the closet, and Nico tries to curl further into himself, flinching away. Voices swirl around him, and something begins to wrap his arms around him. 

‘‘No!’‘ He screams, flailing, trying to get away. ‘‘Please, please, no!’‘

 _nonononononononononono not again can’t happen again can’t do this again_ -

His hair is pushed away from his face, and the cool, wet edge of a water bottle is pressed against his lips. Water, it’s _water_ , and he relaxes a fraction, letting himself drink greedily before it gets taken away, water dripping down his chin.

‘‘Nico,’‘ It’s soft, sweet, unlike the gruff, mean rasp of the giant’s. Nico lets himself fall back into arms, an instinct to _trust_ taking over. ‘‘Nico, baby, hey, hey, hey, you’re okay, it’s okay. I’m Will, remember? We’re at Camp Half-blood, in the Big House.’‘

The fog lifts from Nico’s eyes, and Will’s face looms over him, catching gold in the sunlight. Nico blinks. 

‘‘ … Will,’‘ His voice is hoarse, like he’s been screaming. Will nods, frown pinching his eyebrows together. 

‘‘Yeah, that’s me. You back?’‘ Will brushes a cool hand over Nico’s sweaty forehead, running a hand up and down his back. Nico nods. 

‘‘’m’sorry,’’ Nico’s exhausted, adrenaline high ebbing and hands shaking from where they’re curled in Will’s shirt. Will shakes his head. 

‘‘Nothing to be sorry about. Do you wanna head back to your cabin?’‘ Nico shakes his head. The Hades cabin is unbearable in summer, and the idea of dark is terrifying right now.

Will bites at his lip. ‘‘Wanna lie down in the infirmary, for a little bit? I can stay with you.’‘ Nico nods again. Will smiles.

‘‘I think that’s doable.’’


	7. in love, i think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's all there, Nico thinks.
> 
> This chapter contains: Percico

It’s strange. 

Strange. The word rolls, settling somewhere between Nico’s molars and nesting there, hardly on the tip of his tongue but close enough. His fingers twitch, from where they’re intertwined in Percy’s, and maybe that’s explanation enough. 

The bedside lamp is dim, just enough to have to squint but not enough to sleep because the light would still annoy him. The steady beat of Percy’s heart in his chest, where Nico’s ear is pressed to, is a quiet drumbeat, soft and sure. 

Not building. Not leading to a sudden drop, as the bass line halts and maybe,  _ maybe,  _ it won’t.

Not for a while. Maybe not at the tip of a sword, or razor-sharp canines, or atomization. Maybe of old age and quiet goodbyes. Maybe the beat will peter out and go quiet at the end and maybe, Nico thinks, there’s something here. 

Maybe Nico’s getting too philosophical and ruining his afterglow. 

(he is.)

Percy runs a calloused, but warm thumb over the dip of Nico’s spine, and elation flutters like hummingbirds. Nico tries not to squash them. It’s still a habit Nico has to break. 

‘’I can  _ hear  _ you thinking, you know,’’

It’s rough and sleepy, and Nico jolts. Nico doesn’t need to see the frown to feel it. Nico revises. 

‘’Thought you were asleep,’’

Percy hums, squeezing Nico’s hand, just a bit. Just a little. 

(just enough.)

‘’Nope. Sorry, baby, you’re stuck with me.’’

‘’I’m glad.’’

It’s unbidden, falling out of Nico’s mouth like water over cliffs. Percy snorts.

Nico fights the urge to  _ retreat. Too much,  _ his mind says.  _ Too much. It's still not good enough.  _

‘’I mean —’’

‘’—Me too, Nico. I’m glad I’m stuck with you, too.’’

It’s unsaid, that Nico needed to hear it. But gratefulness manifests as Nico pressing closer, and a gentle squeeze to Percy’s hand. 

It’s only been like this for a year. A year since, on some lame-ass, dirty, hand-me-down I-just-got-out-of-college couch, Percy Jackson kissed a lame-ass, dirty, dressed-in-hand-me-downs Nico di Angelo and said he’d _ been waiting to do that for months.  _

A year since Nico di Angelo didn’t run off or, as anticipated, punch Percy in the face, but kissed back just as hard, tears slipping down his face. 

Six months since Nico said to Percy, in the quiet of their bedroom, ‘’ _ I think I want to, Percy.’’ _

Six months since Percy’s breath had stuttered, before, ‘’ _ are you sure?’’ _

_ ‘’Yes,’’ _

Six months since Nico had woken up, skin tacky with sweat and legs sore, and for once in his life, he didn’t hate it. 

Two months since Percy had asked, in a very different context, if Nico wanted to, as Nico opened a large moving box with a single brass key in it. 

Two months since Nico di Angelo had kissed that dorky grin straight off his boyfriend’s face, a breathy, ‘’of course’’ in the space between them, an answer to more questions than countable. 

And, in the idle patterns Nico traces on Percy’s chest, if a tiny  _ grazie  _ is thrown in, in big, shaky, I-didn’t-go-to-school-past-the-fourth-grade letters, who cares?

Because, ‘’I love you.’’

‘’I love you, too, Nico. I love you, too.’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hnggggg i had feels while writing this guys please help


	8. falling farther

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nico isn’t ready.
> 
> this chapter contains: percico, mentions of nsfw, implied jason/percy/nico/will.

Nico isn’t used to it.

The discomfort prickles at his spine, makes his heart thud uncomfortably in his chest. It makes itself known by the heat on his face; hands shaking, anxiety present and uncontrollable.

Nico worries his lip in between his teeth, hopes that it’s unseen. Warm, warm,  _ warm  _ hands trail down his chest, and—

“Nico?” 

Attention snaps, to sea-glass eyes and lips twisted into a small frown, and something curls up in Nico’s throat.

“Yeah?” Nico’s voice breaks, Percy’s eyebrows furrow. It’s a cause-effect sort of thing that’s so  _ achingly  _ Percy that Nico almost wants to cry with it, and,  _ fuck,  _ Nico feels guilty.

“Are you,” Nico can see the bob of Percy’s throat, when he swallows. “Are you okay?” Because that’s all Percy cares about, right now. That Nico’s enjoying himself. That Nico’s feeling alright. That  _ Nico’s  _ okay with this. 

Percy’s hands feel too heavy, where they’ve come to rest on Nico’s waist. Nico nods, turning his head to the side, cheek coming to rest on the pillow. Looks away from Percy, hands twitching where they rest,  _ obediently,  _ on the bed.

Cool air hits the left side of Nico’s hip. Strong-but-gentle, callused hands find Nico’s chin, turns it up to look, look look  _ look,  _ to  _ see,  _ and Nico peers owlishly up.

“Nico.  _ Nico.  _ You’re shaking.”

_ Shit. _

Nico blinks. “I’m fine. Just nervous. I’m fine, Percy.”

He looks away, after that, eye contact overwhelming. Percy’s hand moves up to Nico’s cheek.

“Nico—“

“— _ I’m  _ alright.”

Percy shifts, then, and Nico finds himself pulled up. He looks up at Percy, confused, but mostly guilty, and Nico finds himself pressed to a warm, bare chest.

“Nico. I’m not mad at you. You’re okay for not wanting—“ 

“—I do!” Nico pulls away, looks Percy in the eye, despite the way his own eyes are filling with inadequate tears. “I do, I do want it, I  _ do,  _ Percy, I–do. I do.”

Percy tilts his head, frown deepening.  _ No no no no no— _

“It’s okay to not  _ be ready. _ ” —But Nico  _ has  _ to be. It’s been  _ months,  _ and they  _ haven’t yet,  _ and he made Will and Jason leave so they  _ could,  _ finally, and it’s not  _ fair  _ that he hasn’t let  _ Percy _ — “Sex isn’t a requirement for me loving you.”

Nico’s face scrunches, and  _ christ  _ he’s crying, shit, shit, shit,  _ shit. _

“ _ Nico,  _ oh, Nico, baby, it’s okay, it’s alright,” Nico’s being pulled in again, tucked underneath Percy’s chin. “You don’t have to. I don’t care if you have with Will, or with Jason. I love you, sex or not.”

Nico buries his face in Percy’s chest and stifles his noises. He feels so,  _ so  _ inadequate. “I know, I know. I just—“  _ fuck,  _ why is this so hard? “You deserve—“

“—Nico,  _ no.  _ I don’t  _ deserve  _ it. It’s not a  _ requirement.  _ You don’t  _ have to.  _ Your body isn’t some kind of– _ jesus,  _ it’s not some kind of  _ reward _ .” Percy runs his hands up and down Nico’s back. “It isn’t something you have to  _ give out _ . It’s  _ your body,  _ Nico. It’s not some kind of  _ object  _ that I should get to use. You not wanting to have sex with me isn’t  _ bad.” _

Logically, Nico knows this. It’s just. _ Difficult. _

“But, with  _ Jason,  _ and Will, I’ve—“

“—you weren’t crushing on Jason for  _ years.  _ You didn’t think Will hated you. This is…” deep breath. “This is new, Nico. This is important to you. It’s important to  _ me.  _ If you don’t want to right now, that’s okay.” 

Percy tangles their legs together. “I didn’t have sex with Jason for a  _ year _ . It’s different, with different people.” Hands tangle together, breathing syncs. “I did Will after three weeks. Nico, it’s okay to wait. Or, even  _ never.  _ I’ll love you no matter what.”

They lapse into silence, Nico taking it in and Percy soothing. After a bit, Nico looks up.

“I love you.”

Percy smiles down at him. “I love you, too.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOOOO BOY. i wrote this at 4 am while not having slept for more than two hours straight in three days. :))))))))

**Author's Note:**

> Kudo's, comments, and the like are always read and appreciated! My tumblr is @ruffledcrow, same as my AO3 url.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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